A year ago today I got off
a plane in Seattle and went straight to the hospital to see my nephew who had
been battling for his life for almost a month at that point. So much has
changed in a year. In light of it being Thanksgiving I thought I would share
about the many things that I'm grateful for that happened since I came back
from the World Race.
I'm definitely thankful for
my nephew's health, God restored him to 100%, and as a matter of fact he's
playing football in a tournament in Vegas this week. God really is so good.
I've spent significant time
with my family, getting reconnected. It was time well spent, especially with my
nieces. I am glad also that I got to see my brother marry his love. I've
definitely enjoyed the opportunity to befriend my sister in law Kasi. And I'm
excited for the newest addition to the family, who will arrive in a couple of
weeks, my second nephew Caleb.
God has blessed me so much
this year in ways I never even thought to ask Him to. I had thousands of dollars
of dental work done for free, and for the first time in my life all of my teeth
have been fixed and are cavity free. God called me to fast 40 days and He, He
alone, sustained me. That was definitely a trying but incredible time of
reliance on Him.
I've also been blessed in
being able to see and spend time with all but one of my team Manna family since
coming home from the race. A year ago I was saddened because I never would have
expected to see so many of them within the year. I still love team Manna
dearly, and miss my teammates, although it's a little easier now that I'm here
with Sammie. J
Then of course, I am so
grateful for the most recent turn of events in my life, my move from WA to
Media, PA. I'm so grateful to Sammie and Jose for letting me stay on their
couch. I thank God that within one week of being here I had a place to move
into (I'll move in next week) with an awesome Christian family, my transfer
went through just fine and I was able to work, and I got a second job at a
local grocery store. God truly has provided and repeatedly showed me that this
is where I am supposed to be.
I'll be honest the past
year has had some major trials and patience wasn't something I was wanting to
build virtue in. So often I was trying my best to run ahead to the next step,
but in the waiting I see how God moves, and it's good. I'm happy where God has me now, and expectant
for what is to come.
I find it fascinating and also
totally a God thing that while I reminisce on how such a great adventure I had
ended a year ago, that today I am at the very beginning of my next adventure.
The
word 'change' can elicit many emotions in someone's life. As for me,
I like to think of my emotions as a paradox when it comes to that
word, part of me excitedly wants so much to welcome it and embrace
it, then the other part scorns it. Whenever I feel the winds of
change blowing on me I can easily get lost in questions, daydreams
and doubts. But as I sit here now at 12:30 in the morning, outside,
being able to see my breath, alone with God and the cat; I am at
peace.
Something
that God has tried to hammer into me many times is that change and
discipleship go hand in hand. I'm understanding that at a level I
haven't known before. God has spoken to me a great deal about
discipleship this year, and His intense beckoning of that from me
over the past month (although I haven't been the most obedient to it)
I now see as preparation for change.
The
first few months I was home from the race God spent emphasizing to me
that I had indeed changed on the race (especially by calling me to a
40 day fast!), the past 5 months have been spent getting me ready for
what's next. (For the record I can hardly believe that I've been back
for almost a year.)
Here
in a couple of weeks I'll be moving to Pennsylvania, to the same town
that my WR teammate Sammie, and her husband Jose, live in. While it's
a big leap to move all the way across the country, I know that now is
the time and this is where God wants me to be. My plans had been to
wait, save more, and move later, but God, always in His infinite way,
changed my plans again. That being said, for those of you I don't get
a chance to see before I leave, I'm sorry, I didn't plan to leave so
soon or fast, but as always, I strive to follow God and His
promptings.
You
maybe wondering why I'm moving. Well there are many answers so I'll
try to sum them up for you. The first being, I feel called and doors
of opportunity are opening up out there that aren't here. Second, I
can no longer grow in the ways and areas that God wants me to and that I need
to here. Third, I loved the church/community when I was out there in
June and it just felt like home. I am eager to get involved.
Fourth, there is no safety net in going out there and I'll have to
really rely on God.
I
am excited for this new adventure and what it will lead to. I don't
know why PA as far as the 'big
picture' of my life, but I don't need to know, I just have to go. ;)
I
hope for you that you would embrace the winds of change in your life
too. While it's scary, it's also exciting. It pushes me closer to
God, and that's really what life is all about, living/being in His
presence.
As many of you know Haiti has been on my heart and mind. I was just at www.adventures.org/haiti and saw this video and thought I would share it on here.
While
on the race, our coaches (the best ones ever, the Paschalls!) gave us the
book,"A Royal Priesthood" to read. I was the first on my team to
read it, back in May I think. I decided I wanted to read it again now
that I'm home. I did read a lot of books between then and now. I was
reading it today and a passage really stuck out to me and got me
thinking and I wanted to share the insight I received today.
Here's
the passage:
Our
adversary sees us in our vulnerable state, and immediately slings his
arrows against us. We wince in pain as his "fiery dart"
penetrates, and vow never to
allow that to happen again. So to protect ourselves from further
wounding, we try to erect walls around our hearts,
that shut out, not only the hurtful experiences, but family, friends,
and even the Lord himself. Or maybe we simply harden
our hearts to avoid or numb the pain.
Although
these are common responses, they are not the kind of response God
desires. He wants us to have softhearts that are open
to giving and receiving love. He intends that we have gentle
spirits that are sensitive to His heart and the hearts of
others. So, how do we remain soft and sensitive to God on the one
hand, without being vulnerable or defenceless toward the enemy on the
other? Simply, we "put on the whole armor of God" on the outside,
so that we can remain "tender-hearted" on the inside.
When
reading this, I thought about how much God had softened my heart this
past year. When our hearts are soft they are able to be in tune with
God's heart and what he feels for His people. This past year I
learned more of what it means to experience God's heart for people,
as I felt their burdens and interceded for them. I thought this was a
'new gift' which was given to me. But today upon reading this the
thought came,"What if I had this all the time, but didn't know it
because I protected myself by hardening my heart?" How could God's
gifts be used to the fullest capacity if he can't mold our heart to
use them? I wondered how many people in the Body of Christ have gifts
that they are unable to use because of their hardened hearts? If we
all used the Armor of God to protect us, instead of our own means how
much more could we be doing for the Kingdom of God?
I
don't want to be responsible for Godly things to stop because of me.
I don't want to miss out on being used by God because of my own
insecurity or self-preservation. But this is what happens when we do
it on our own. Further along in the chapter it talked about how in
Ephesians 6 after explaining the armor, the next thing it says is to
pray. If we, instead of doing it on our own, would simply turn to God
and pray after affliction, we would find healing, forgiveness,
soothing ointment and strength to continue on in the manner that God
wants us to. Therefore we would be able to stay in tune with God's
heart and love for people. This day I was forever challenged to keep
my heart soft and malleable for God to do as He wishes, and now I
challenge you to do the same.
Eleven
months ago, this day, my team, Ashley Musick and I danced in the
streets of Les Cayes, Haiti chanting "Jezi se sel espwa Ayiti"
with 60,000 other Haitians. We proclaimed that Haiti was God's
nation. We declared God's goodness, light and mercy over that nation
everyday we were there.
Today
I sit here completely heartbroken for this nation.
I
can't even describe all the emotions I feel about this. This tragedy
weighs so heavily on my heart. I find myself crying and praying.
Yesterday
I was praying for Haiti at about the time the earthquake occurred. I
thought this unusual because if I pray for the countries I went to I
usually start with the first one....but not this time, God knew.
Tonight
my teammates and some others got together on a conference call and
spent about an hour interceding for Haiti. I am so glad that I know
there is power in prayer, and power when the body of Christ gets
together and pray. I know being all the way over here, there isn't
much I can do for the people of Haiti right now, except pray. I want
to encourage you all to pray, in your small groups, in your homes and
churches, because God can use this opportunity to further His Kingdom
and bring restoration to these people. If you feel the need to do
something more, you can monetarily give to AIM for relief aid by
clicking here and/or by checking out the AIM website at
www.adventures.org.
I just wanted to let you know that on Tuesday Nathan had to go back into the hospital because he had a fever, and fluid build up in his lungs again. Yesterday he had surgery and two chest tubes were put in because he had a secondary infection in his lungs. The doctors say he should only be in the hospital for a week.
So once again I petition you for prayers for my nephew. 100% recovery is what we are praying for.
On
Friday Nathan was able to go home! We are all so happy about this. It's
been a long month in the hospital for him and my family. I just want to
ask that you continue to pray for him, he's got a ways to go before
he's fully recovered. Please pray that his pick line works properly and
the holes will heal without any difficulty and for 100% recovery. Thanks.
As for me, I'm just hanging out with family and friends. It's good to be seeing everyone again!
Hey I just wanted to let you know I made it home. We don't have internet right now so I wasn't able to post sooner. You won't hear much from me then either.
I just got done celebrating thanksgiving in the hospital with my family. Surprisingly, it's one of the best thanksgivings we've had in a long time. It's such a blessing to be with family.
I'm
coming to the end of it. Once again I have mixed emotions. I'm relieved
that this lifestyle is almost over and I'll get to use a clothes dryer
again. But I'm also used to this lifestyle and struggle to wrap my head
around the idea that it will end, because it's what I've known for so
long. It
took me awhile to get to the place where I was ready to go home, and I
am, but I can't even imagine how difficult it will be in a few days to
say "see ya" to these wonderful, amazing people that I'm so accustomed
to seeing everyday and each month. Already
I've decided to start saying the final things I want to make sure that
I say before the end. Therefore I've already made people cry.
Oh well, I want my squad to know how much they mean to me and how much
God knew I needed them in my life. If you are a squadmate reading this,
thank you for putting up with me this year, for loving me and pouring
into me...I couldn't have become the woman I am today without you or
all that you did. In
a couple of days I fly back home, and then begin the "what's next" part
of my life. Only I don't know what that is, and that's okay. God will
reveal it to me in His timing. But I hope that before I run off and do
something else I get to spend a little time with my family and friends.
Going back home is a whole other unknown, but I do know that God will
be with me every step of the way. I just wanted to make sure I got some thoughts out there before getting busy and then not blogging at all.
The doctors don't know what the fluid is in Nathan's lungs, although they say it's not life threatening. Thank you Lord!
Nathan was even up and walking, so all of our prayers are definitely being heard as God continues to intervene on Nathan's behalf. Please continue to pettition God for his complete recovery.
